How to Cook By Patrick Sweeney

First off you need ingredients. 

 Now take a look at all the junk mail ads that normally through away and see what produce is on sale and where. Chances are the best deals will be found at an ethnic market or a establishment that caters towards people with a low income  

(hey that's me)

Try to buy only what is season, grown as locally as possible and what is on sale.  Usually these 3 go together.  It's okay to buy an item or two at full price, but I don't.

I always try to keep a ready supply garlic onions and avocado available for almost everything I cook.

Now what?

Put it in a blender

You made a  Smoothie

*

Put it in bowl.

 You made  a salad.

*

Put it between some baked grains.

You made a sandwich.

*

Put it in the wok.

You made a stir fry.

*

Put it in on dough a place in the oven.

You made a pizza.

*

Put in the freezer and add Tequila.

You made desert.

*

Now for some bonus food porn pics of what I've been eating the last month or so.

Avocado Ice cream

This not a recipe.  It's a proof of concept!

Tequila and Avocado's together at long last

 4 Ingredients Tequila, Avocado, Lemons (from my mom's tree) and a bit of sugar

Tangent
Earlier in the day while at Ralph's I got hustled into watching some Knife presentation  with the promise I was gonna score something free.  Basically they were trying to sell me the same serrated blade my family bought in the 80's.

 Sometime around 2005 my mother and I both got on a Stupid Ronco infomercial BS-ing about the next iteration of the Knife we had never used.  I even had to go to Ron Popeil's House.  Man he turned out to be jerk. During filming he made his 40 year daughter cry while  his 20 something year old wife watched nursing his new born child.

Yep I totally use knifes on my barbecue? Yeah right!
&
I have never barbecued ribs! But I have eaten them in the past
(I hear the infomercial still airs but I'm not an insomniac so haven't seen it in years.)

I didn't get free knifes this time but I did get free P.O.S. Juicer
(the same kind that we got back in 1987)

Back to the Ice Cream

I mashed up the avocado mixed in the tequila sugar and lemon juice and put it my blender.  I think a food possessor would work better but I don't have one.

What I do have is an ice cream maker that my sister got for X-mas and didn't want.

 I think I could of got very similar  results by just putting  the mix in the freezer but since I have this contraption I might as well use it.

 It started to look like Ice cream.
I let the machine spin for around 20mins

During that time I had a most excellent vegan pizza.

Time for dessert
by now it  looked more like wasabi.

 I decided to add a little coconut meat and a slice of Habanero.

The consistency was amazing!  The tequila was not overpowering  but could deffinetly be felt.  It's the kind of desert you could serve in one or two oz servings.

I was very pleased with the results and it tasted just  as good the next day although you might not wanna have it for breakfast.
I will deffinetly make this again!

I encourage to experiment and adapt the ingredients to your own liking.  If you do end making a batch please let me know how it goes.

The four basic food groups: Smoothie, Pizza and Guacamole

Recently the American govenment got rid of it's Food Pyramid.

Choosemyplate

I applaud the government for making steps in the right direction but they need to be more concerned with health than profits for the meat and dairy industries!

Fruits, alright so far so good.  Vegetables, right on.  Grains,  not bad but our bodies don't necessarily need them how bout complex carbohydrates instead.  Protein,  that wedge is way too big, the reason protein is big money and they have a lot of lobbiests.

Bonus Dairy section!  Are you kidding me?  Our bodies are not meant to metabolize cow lactation.  We need to stop letting the Diary industry market to the youth of country!!!!!  We might ad well have a Coca Cola section as well if were gonna allow dairy.  The FDA needs to be restructured to be conceren about our health and NOT be involved with the poffits of the food industry.

After taking a look at the federal guidelines I thought maybe I should take a look at my own diet.

I made a few changes.

1. Smoothie I drink them everyday

2. I make my own at least 4 days a week

3.Guacalmole really is a perfect food.

4. Libation's, you got to wash it all down with something

Bonus

Salt and vinegar chips, It's ridiculous that milk was on the original list.  This is equally as stupid but taste a lot better and has less chance of causing tumor growth.

I go through quite a bit of produce yesterday morning this is all I had sitting out the counter plus about twice as much as this in the firdge.  Time to hit up the farmer, the korean and the mexican market's for some produce

that's better

Avocado, watermelon, corn, aspargus, peppers (red yellow orange), lime, persian cumber,guava, cantaloupe, mango,squash, blurberry, garlic chive, heirloom carrot, brussell sprout, santa clause melon, and cactus tuna.

Smoothie time


I've only had a blender for less than 2 months now but every morning I like to give it a spin.

When it comes to a smoothie just about any fruit or vegetable will do.

Peach, strawberry, blueberry, brocolli, carrot, avocado chia seed, flax seed, and watermelon.

I totally forgot the bananna

Is it just me or does that big strawberry look like a toungue?

Delicious

Banana, apricot, strawberry, broccoli, mango, guava, carrot, watermelon,flax seed and chia

Surprisingly the Mexican variety of mango was much easier to peel

Fuel

Persian cucumber, peach, banana, broccoli, cherry, santa clause melon, carrot, watermelon, flax seed and chia

I ended up cutting off the sides of the cherries for the smoothie. Pitting them is a pain in the ass. I ate the rest of the flesh off the seeds while the smoothie was blending.

Drink me!

Guacamole

mMy secret recipe called chop everything you got and mix it together: Family grown avocado (thanks cousin Jill) organic grape tomato, radish, carrot, onion, 5 cloves of garlic, and jalapeno mixed with Sontava's Habanero, Trappey's Chipotle and Melinda's Ghost peeper sauce

Of course I washed it down with an Arrogant bastard.

P.S. Guac looks so much better before it is mixed.

Onion, radish, grape tomato, yellow/red/orange pepper, heirloom carrot, garlic, lime, and avocado with habanero, chipotle and ghost pepper sauce

Honestly I could eat this everyday for the rest of my life and still want to lick the bowl clean

Yep there's Avocado underneath. Ingredients include: green, red, yellow, and orange peppers, garlic and garlic chives, grape tomato, crimini mushroom, raw sweet corn, Jalapeno, and carrots. Topped with habanero chipotle and ghost pepper sauce. In my haste I forgot to add onion and radish but will in my next batch.

Raw corn and mushroom Get me approval

I think I ate about 100 chips just like this

Pizza 

The more ingredients that come from my garden the better

Fresh radish

Rosemary

Basil

My jalapeno's and habanero's are way to small

I've got about ten varieties of tomato's growing however this is the only one that has started to fruit

Strawberry haven't put them on a pizza yet.  Hmm maybe tonight

 A little lemon juice in the crust perhaps?

My new favorite dough purchased at Sprouts

vine ripened tomato,roma tomato, radish, onion, carrot, garlic, garlic chive, broccoli, jalapeno, rosemary and avocado

vine ripened tomato,roma tomato, radish, onion, carrot, garlic, garlic chive, broccoli, flax seed, ginger, barbecue sauce, crimini mushroom, jalepeno,rosemary and avocado

Yum

Vine ripened tomato, roma tomato, garlic, spinach, onion, radish, carrot, red pepper, orange pepper, yellow pepper, green pepper, broccoli, mushroom, spinach, asparagus and avocado.

Libations

My sponsor

Stone Ale

Sake

Campari

Twist off wine 

and

Of course Bourbon